yesterday i spent a lot of time thinking about life and what i am doing with it.
while my best friend was bringing her new baby home from the hospital, another dear friend was saying goodbye to her still-born.
another friend expressed her desire to stop working and just be home with her babies while another was expressing her need to prioritize because her baby comes first and work comes second.
one just delivered twins to add to her two other darlings and the last may never have a baby.
what different lives we all have!
my thoughts aren't always directed on what i am doing wrong, but it sure seems like that is where they go lately.
am i using the time i have been given wisely?
yesterday nikson and i played outside all day.
it felt really good.
even when night came, and blake was home, we were all outside.
i was swinging and enjoying watching the birds fly in and out of view, while blake and nikson played on the slide, played tether ball, and practiced the crab walk around the yard.
blake tried making the noise of a dove with his hands and nikson thought it was hilarious and tried to do it too.
i watched and was overcome with a deep understanding of life and each of our pursuits of happiness.
that little moment the three of us were having was what i felt to be something of pure joy.
i guess that is how i need to measure the way i spend my days.
does what i am doing really make me happy?
there are things i do that do not make me "really" happy.
i skim through those experiences with a smile, but inevitably those experiences do not last and i am left searching for something greater.
i have always found joy in being with my boys, not distracted by worldly pressures, phone calls, texts, or toys, and just being together.
when others express to me the hard things they are going through i really do have to sit back and think about what i have been given and what i am doing with it.
what makes you happy?
how do you try to use what you have been given?
nikson finds happiness in just being able to climb up and sit in his own chair.
oh the simple life.


