happy birthday handsome

birthdays are funny things.
some people make them a really big deal (me) and some people just think of them as another day (blake).
i like birthdays because they are a really great time to reflect on your own life and your relationship with others.
things with blake and i aren't always easy.
in fact, sometimes they are just down right difficult.
but lately we have been working on communicating better, appreciating each other, and laughing more.
the laughing part seems to be what makes all the tough times doable.

like i totally laughed when blake told me he left his laptop bag and wallet at the rental car place and we had to drive back to get it.
what the...
no criticizing word out of this mouth.
i just cranked the radio and serenaded him as we drove.
good times.

coming home from cali was hard because i felt like we were able to escape some of the hard for a while and i wanted to stay away still.
so much that i considered having someone fly my baby boy out to us for a couple more days.
yeah, its that bad for me.
in my prayers i pray for the ability to learn how live life better quickly so our hard times won't be because we refuse to change and grow, but will be because such is life.
i pray that my heart will soften towards embracing progression and i will welcome challenge and change.
(am i really saying this?)
blake has definitely been an instrument of change in my life.
mostly good change.
some of the change makes me upset because i don't like how hot tempered i am, but most change is good.
he has taught me not to worry about what others think and to be myself.
he has taught me about the importance of fighting for what i believe and sticking to my guns. i actually don't own a gun, but if i did, consider them stuck.
i really have been super blessed to be allotted so many opportunities to grow with him and with our little man.
so today for your birthday darling i would like to say thank you for being so influential.
i hope the woman i am becoming is more than enough to always make you happy.

i love you handsome.
you are everything to me.
happy birthday.