09 July 2011

Who will he become?

Being a mom has been quite a rewarding experience. tough? Yes. But really rewarding. Yesterday Blake and I snuggled with Nikson for a family nap and as I watched both of them sleep a lot of thoughts went through my mind. One is I can not believe that this baby is mine. Mostly because when he is sleeping next to his daddy he looks nothing like me. Seriously, identical.

He seems so perfect for us. All the fears of having a child and having our relationship suffer due to lack of time have vanished and been replaced with lots of laughter and excitement as we watch this little guy grow. I guess we were selfish in our fears of having a baby so early in our marriage, but Nikson is exactly who we need. The thoughts of "us", Blake and I, have turned into the three of us which I am ok with. Our prayers are filled with pleading with Heavenly Father that the Spirit will be in our hearts and home as we try to raise this sweet baby. I tend to think a lot about the "what if's" and the "could be's", things that I suppose are only natural for a mother to think about. Who will he become? I thought about how instead of wanting him to be a doctor or in the Olympics, my hope as his mom is that he will be spiritually strong and value the supernal gift of prayer, always knowing and appreciating that he has a Heavenly Father to speak to and counsel with. I want him to know that even though we seem so insignificant to such a Supreme Creator, we aren't and He is readily available to aid us. Prayer is power. I have felt it. I imagine my life without that blessing and think how vastly different it would be if I did not exercise my ability to speak with God. It is a real source of strength for me and has been something that has shaped my life. My little family here on Blair Street is an answer to so many prayers. I hope my son understands that one day. And I hope he learns to love to pray.

Last night we were with our friends, Chad and Allie Waite and I put Nikson to sleep in a room that viewed all of Salt Lake Valley. He looked so tiny against this massive backdrop and yet as I watched him fall asleep I couldn't help but feel I was in the presence of a giant. He felt really big to me. I am a proud mama.

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