three.

three years ago today.

being married to handsome has been quite the experience.

we learn so much about each other every day, but i think we have learned the most about ourselves.

we have had a road we could have never planned out or prepared for and yet, for some reason, it seems only logical that we are headed in the direction we are.

we had a baby really early in our marriage and being able to learn as parents as well as spouses has enabled the most fulfilling marriage we could have hoped for. 

i like watching us grow. 

a good pair

i don't really know how to explain it.
lately, things have been different.
and i like it.

(lets not make any comments about handsome's hair. he gets a little sensitive.)

enchanted

marriage is a funny thing.
i will be the first to tell you that our marriage isn't always roses.
some of these bloggers i read about seem like they have the most romantic, beautiful,  fairy tale relationships.
what is their secret?

i look at my relationship with blake and of course i want the perfect marriage.
i want to have what my parents have, but without all the years in between.
my mother will laugh when she reads that.
but they get it.
i know they get it.
i imagine my life being more like this
who doesn't want to always be singing and have illustrated birds come in and help make pancakes?
but the reality is, we are human.
each of us have our own faults that can be completely irritating.

we fight.
it's true.
about really dumb things.
most of the time we fight because i am completely exhausted, or hungry.
i can not be tired or hungry and have a logical, rational conversation.

each day i have to reevaluate how i am contributing to the relationship and how i can change to become better for myself, better for, blake, and now for this little one.
it's totally frustrating.
but it's necessary for our relationship to last.
a lot of bloggers have posted about Lauren Fleishman's Art Book Project/ love ever after

it's all about couples in new york that have been married for over fifty years.
it's very motivating if not absolutely adorable.

i guess i can let go of my expectation of illustrated birds, mice that make me dresses, and magic carpets that become a conduit to everlasting love.

i want real love that is built over time.
where change, forgiveness, service, and kindness strengthen it.

i also came across this little gem and really felt the pull of improvement around my neck.
i really need to focus on being my best self for my best guy.
it is really easy to point out your spouses flaws, but i have learned that most of my issues are because of me.
that is so annoying.
i will get it though.
sooner rather than later.
i pray i can be more teachable.

disclaimer: this post is in no way supposed to deter anyone from their decision to be married.
we have a beautiful life.
i love being married.
it has it's days of bliss and pure magic.
but it's sometimes the hard things that make it the most beautiful.

second disclaimer: i hate disclaimers.