09 February 2012


marriage is a funny thing.
i will be the first to tell you that our marriage isn't always roses.
some of these bloggers i read about seem like they have the most romantic, beautiful,  fairy tale relationships.
what is their secret?

i look at my relationship with blake and of course i want the perfect marriage.
i want to have what my parents have, but without all the years in between.
my mother will laugh when she reads that.
but they get it.
i know they get it.
i imagine my life being more like this
who doesn't want to always be singing and have illustrated birds come in and help make pancakes?
but the reality is, we are human.
each of us have our own faults that can be completely irritating.

we fight.
it's true.
about really dumb things.
most of the time we fight because i am completely exhausted, or hungry.
i can not be tired or hungry and have a logical, rational conversation.

each day i have to reevaluate how i am contributing to the relationship and how i can change to become better for myself, better for, blake, and now for this little one.
it's totally frustrating.
but it's necessary for our relationship to last.
a lot of bloggers have posted about Lauren Fleishman's Art Book Project/ love ever after

it's all about couples in new york that have been married for over fifty years.
it's very motivating if not absolutely adorable.

i guess i can let go of my expectation of illustrated birds, mice that make me dresses, and magic carpets that become a conduit to everlasting love.

i want real love that is built over time.
where change, forgiveness, service, and kindness strengthen it.

i also came across this little gem and really felt the pull of improvement around my neck.
i really need to focus on being my best self for my best guy.
it is really easy to point out your spouses flaws, but i have learned that most of my issues are because of me.
that is so annoying.
i will get it though.
sooner rather than later.
i pray i can be more teachable.

disclaimer: this post is in no way supposed to deter anyone from their decision to be married.
we have a beautiful life.
i love being married.
it has it's days of bliss and pure magic.
but it's sometimes the hard things that make it the most beautiful.

second disclaimer: i hate disclaimers.


  1. such a lovely post! And that is the beauty of marriage- the ups AND the downs... while still being in love through it all. xoxo

  2. beautiful thoughts - marriage is fab and really hard all at the same time! People never talk about that part of it which involves self sacrifice but so worth it to share a life time with your best friend! That book looks totally beautiful

  3. What you wrote here is so beautiful and true....Ups and downs are part of life and part of loveIt's not easy living with someone but it sometimes beacomes worse when you have a child involved:that's why i think it's a daily job to try to live peacefully...
    I guess people don't really like to talk about the hard times they go through in their marriage....Thank you for speaking of that in such a natural and beautiful way....this book seems amazing!
    Have a beautiful day

  4. A lot of bloggers do make marriage look like a fairytale. haha. I'm not there yet but I'm grateful for your insight and I'll check out that love ever after. Keep it up girl!


  5. thanks for your honesty, marriage is the hardest, most rewarding and character building thing I have ever done; but your right, every day isn't the 'perfect' fairy tale. your blog is refreshing, happy to have stumbled upon it!

  6. I love what you wrote! I'm so young to talk about marriage, but I know how much it's hard to make things go well with a boy! Especially when you grow up, you change and your desire, project and thoughts change and it's quite impossible sometimes to make it work anymore!

  7. Love that last quote (and Audrey Hepburn in general)!

  8. Love this post! I told my husband the other day that we are imperfectly perfect. :-)

    Jayme @ Her Late Night Cravings