two thousand twelve

dear two thousand twelve.

it is interesting to look back and wonder. wonder about a lot of things. a few prominent thoughts are as follows...

• having nikson in our family has sure made things more magical. i can not imagine our family without him. i know every mother says that of her child, but i honestly feel like this little guy was sent to us for a reason. we laugh harder. we fight less. we play more. and i have nearly every bubble guppies episode memorized. (would that be considered magic?) what more could we ask for. a close friend encouraged us to start filming more, his rule of thumb was an hour a week, and i am trying my best to stay on top of it. the tricky thing is when my son is completely naked, standing on our counter in front of the bathroom mirror, singing none other than, "baby, baby, baby, OOOOh" i really don't want to miss any of it so the camera stays on the counter while i take in my hilarious son. who is this kid? i feel like every day has something new for us to witness. each night, handsome and i like to recall the day and all the funny "niksonisms" that happened. he has definitely brought a different light into this house. 
• another thought that keeps finding its way into the forefront of my mind is the fact that handsome and i are doing really good. you all kind of got a glimpse of what some rocky roads look like here in the house, but i am proud to announce that change and forgiveness is what it is really all about, hot dog. we both have had some massive spiritual and emotional make-overs that have enabled an atmosphere of good conflict and growth to happen. i seriously am a very blessed woman to be able to experience life in a healthy way with a man i cherish. we are both learning how to love on a different level. not only physically, which is weird because i feel like most relationships start off with the physicality dynamic. although we are completely smitten with each other's good looks, we are definitely learning how to love deeper. i am a grateful girl. 
• my last thought to share comes from deep within the confines of my heart and will really let you in on who i really am. "how in heavens name does baby number two bring on a body that's not my own so quickly?" yeah, riddle me that. girlfriend was rocking skinny jeans until month eight with nikson and this little weasel kicked me into motherhood maternity at month four. cruel and unusual punishment for a woman trying to create a living, breathing, running around naked playing swords with his brother, thing.
• ps, did you catch that? 
• i am also pleased to announce that the bishop home is welcoming BABY BOY number two come the end of April. i can not express to you enough how elated i have been and how excited we are as parents to get another opportunity to raise a son. nikson doesn't quite get it yet, but he does talk to his brother through the belly-button, and he tells everyone who is in mom's tummy. that in itself has made year twenty twelve a good one. 

around the holidays i, like the majority of the world, take in the year and really decide what i became because of it. this year has been an emotional roller coaster for me. we experienced joys that will never be replaced, hard things that made us stronger, and challenges that i have never thought i would deal with. we decided to make everything good though, with that i do better at some things than others. i suppose that is what makes life so amazing, being able to find where the sweet is and make it truly your own. 

love,

jac